Archive for May, 2013

Winning Friends and Influencing People Minute Mantra

Making and keeping friends at any age requires work.  Having the ability to influence others in a positive way in life, friendship and business is essential.  By keeping a few ideas front of mind when you are in the company of others you will make a big difference in the way people perceive you and your ideas.

Dale Carnegie wrote some of the most compelling ideas about making genuine friends and influencing people in his book How To Win Friends and Influence People

He breaks down the model into four components: handling people, making people like you, moving people to your way of thinking and being a leader.  This is a summary of the ideas for each of these four components.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener.  Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions.  Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to nobler motives.
  11. Dramatize your ideas.
  12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader

A leader’s job often includes changing people’s attitudes and behavior.  Some suggestions to accomplish this:

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.  Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement.  Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Source: Carnegie, Dale, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, 1936, Simon & Schuster, New York, NY

Minute Mantra
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Become genuinely interested in other people.
3. Be a good listener.  Encourage others to talk about themselves.
4. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
5. Show respect for the other person’s opinions.  Never say, “You’re wrong.”
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
8. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
9. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
10. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.


Copyright © 2013-2020  All Rights Reserved

16 Rules for Success in Business and Life Minute Mantra

Bob Parsons, founder of and Parsons Technology, shares his 16 Rules for Success in Business and Life in General.  Copyright © 2004 Bob Parsons – All rights reserved. Reproduced with permission.  See the end of this post for the Minute Mantra.

1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone.
I believe that not much happens of any significance when we’re in our comfort zone. I hear people say, “But I’m concerned about security.” My response to that is simple: “Security is for cadavers.”

2. Never give up.
Almost nothing works the first time it’s attempted. Just because what you’re doing does not seem to be working, doesn’t mean it won’t work. It just means that it might not work the way you’re doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn’t have an opportunity.

3. When you’re ready to quit, you’re closer than you think.
There’s an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: “The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be.
Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of “undefined consequences.” My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, “Well, Robert, if it doesn’t work, they can’t eat you.”

5. Focus on what you want to have happen.
Remember that old saying, “As you think, so shall you be.”

6. Take things a day at a time.
No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don’t look too far into the future, and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

7. Always be moving forward.
Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

8. Be quick to decide.
Remember what General George S. Patton said: “A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow.”

9. Measure everything of significance.
I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched, improves.

10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate.
If you want to uncover problems you don’t know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven’t examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you’re doing.
When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

12. Never let anybody push you around.
In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you’re doing as anyone else, provided that what you’re doing is legal.

13. Never expect life to be fair.
Life isn’t fair. You make your own breaks. You’ll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).

14. Solve your own problems.
You’ll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you’ll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: “You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others.” There’s also an old saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: “A wise man keeps his own counsel.”

15. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

16. There’s always a reason to smile.
Find it. After all, you’re really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: “We’re not here for a long time, we’re here for a good time!”

Minute Mantra
1. Stay out of your comfort zone
2. Never give up
3. Focus on what you want to have happen
4. Take things a day at a time
5. Always be moving forward
6. Solve your own problems
7. There’s always a reason to smile


Copyright © 2013-2020  All Rights Reserved

5 Essential Tips for Raising Children: The PRESS Minute Mantra

Implement these 5 essential tips for raising children and use this Minute Mantra to keep them top of mind when around your children.  The word PRESS will help you to remember!

Being present is a big part of parenting.  Just being around your children, available to your children and loving your children makes a significant difference in their growth.

Role model
Everything you do especially around your children conveys more education to them than anything you can say.  Be mindful about what you do, what you say and your non-verbal interactions with your children, your significant other and those around you.

Do what you can to continue to educate your children.  Whether it is teaching them to spell, count or read, there are many things you can do to cultivate their education outside of the classroom.

Emotional and social intelligence play a key role in our children’s development and success in later years of life.  Look for opportunities to demonstrate social intelligence in your interaction with others, find ways to open up your children’s social network by initiating play dates, and help guide them on how to properly interact with others.  Making eye contact when listening or talking to someone, shaking hands, introducing oneself, saying hello and saying goodbye are great opportunities to exercise this muscle.

Helping to make children realize that their home is a safe place (physically, mentally and emotionally) makes them comfortable to explore and make mistakes in this environment.  Of course, keeping them safe and secure everywhere else is also an important aspect to raising children as parents or guardians.

Minute Mantra
Remember PRESS

P – Present
R – Role model
E – Education
S – Social
S – Safe


Copyright © 2013-2020  All Rights Reserved